#i need to read the legion books so bad

[ghouly-drool]

frank morrison doodle page that i still adore

[horuslupercal]

ranking the primarchs as boyfriends

Lion: honestly I can't see him dating cause he doesn't like women and Caliban homophobia but let's pretend. he is better than you. you both know this. makes no particular effort to pay attention to you. bad at social cues. will take care of you, kind of. will tell his astartes to guard you in a dangerous situation at least. uncommunicative. 2/10 loveless political marriage

Fulgrim: canonically emotionally tapped out. okay boyfriend in public, does not really interact much in private. RSD.Primarch. decent amount of gifts. might actually catch feelings for you and then pull away even more. 1/10 are you really dating

Perturabo: also RSD.Primarch. it's difficult to make him happy and very easy to upset him. you will end up on life support when he kills you in a fit of rage and then panics about it. if you tell him you like his artsy endeavours he WILL shower you in them so there's that. you cannot fix him. 3/10 more unstable ground than eggshells

Khan: knows what he's about (sexual). writes very pretty letters but this does not quite make up for him being gone all the time. more interested in his friends. emotionally mature primarch. pretty good at interacting with mortals like he respects them. not a guy who's good at (or likes) commitment/being "tied down". 5/10 you should just be fwbs

Leman: well groomed. likes to feed you good food. more interested in his friends than you. braggart. surprisingly good at remembering important things and dates. 6/10 a thoughtful frat boy

Dorn: primarch most likely to indulge in a "shut up" ring. has emotions about you and literally tortures himself about it. claims he's controlled or whatever but he is an emotional time bomb. won't engage in relationship conversations. knows he's better than you. 3/10 dime a dozen in a philosophy class

Konrad: well fuck if he doesn't love you. believes in thought crime and possesses some moral OCD qualities. will trail bits of guts home. might accidentally kill you during a vision. he really does love you. swinging between obsession and apathy very quickly. 2/10 you knew what you were getting into

Sanguinius: afraid of you? (or of hurting you). half the time he has no energy for anything he gets off work (campaign) and lays down on the couch and doesn't answer his texts. impulsive. kind of incapable of turning "off". sad. tries to be sweet. 4/10 is he really interested in you?

Ferrus: throws tantrums. knows he's better than you and his legion knows it too. jokes about your weakness with a little too much regularity for it to feel like a joke. won't fix this if you express being upset about it. 1/10 /fit/ (4chan) regular

Angron: will kill you in his sleep. will cry about it. doesn't really think of himself as a complete person anymore and makes it the problem of everyone around him. doesn't want to date you and ruin you. won't even tell you his newest scheme for glorious combat based suicide. 1/10 he's not in a good place

Roboute: arrogant. busy. "I was a TA for a logic class-". says he's willing to communicate but leaves halfway through because something happened and doesn't pick it back up. will bring you to beautiful cliffside locales and spin you like a movie. 5/10 you are a side project

Mortarion: unwashed. kissing him will poison you. doesn't come to bed on time. appreciates you from a distance but does not pay much attention to you. would be very upset if something happened to you. his legion definitely thinks you're stupid. 1/10 he doesn't you he needs SSRIs

Magnus: knows better than you. horror movie protag's boyfriend who says it's just a joke as he reads the ancient texts from the creepy book. flaunts you around, he's very proud of you. either constantly asking what you want or completely dead to the world distracted in some project. 5/10 he will get you killed

Horus: lovebombing: the primarch. knows what he's about (sexual). more than a little self absorbed. occasionally loses his temper and then is very good about explaining it away until you feel bad. you are spoiled to hell. 4/10 emotionally abusive boyfriend with a magic aura

Lorgar: you are his world. his light. his life. he knows best and you should just do what he says. you will no longer be human but something higher (socially) (literally). gets so invested he lets other things fall to the wayside and it's kind of disastrous. 5/10 at least you're god

Vulkan: trying his best to actually respect you. occasionally fails. means to spend time with you and then gets wrapped up in duties and projects. cuddlemaster. cute relationship gestures. 7/10 your best option

Corvus: won't communicate. ghosts away when things get awkward. really random, overly intense opinions and he will slay you on those hills. busy. hypocrite. 1/10 teenager

Alpharius Omegon: either they're both in on this so they can use you or only one of them is in on this and the other one is plotting your death because this wasn't the plan. 1/10 actively dangerous

[rosiesatombomb]

Craig Boone relationship hcs

Gn reader, sfw

A/N: this is in fact pretty angsty so be warned. I rlly like Boone and I have so many thoughts about him ughhhh

Requests still open!!

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Boone loves to listen to literally anything. He doesn’t have a lot to say but he thinks about a lot of different thing’s

He doesn’t communicate a lot of what he thinks. He wants to keep a lot of it to himself unless it concerns the courier

Boone truly hates himself, often depriving himself of basic needs because he feels like he doesn’t need it. He only really eats old pre-war canned food which tastes bad. But he eats it anyway, it’s more fuel rather than something he enjoys

It takes him a while to learn to at least like himself again. And it takes alot of work on the couriers part as well. It takes a lot of reassurance and patience

Not a big fan of sleep. He says it leaves him open, especially when camping out in the wastes. But he also does this in the casinos and motels

He also has frequent nightmares. Mainly about bitter springs but some about Carla. Both make his skin crawl and he feels like he can’t talk about either

I think the only way Boone could truly be at peace in a way is if the legion is wiped out and Caesar is dead. Preferably by his hand

If this does happen he doesn’t even come to terms with it until years later. He is still constantly on edge when traveling the Mojave because he’s used to the fear

It would take YEARS for Boone to be able to even think of getting into a relationship again. Of course he still wants a family but he can’t help but think of what he could have had with Carla

Boone feels as if he doesn’t deserve his partner. In his mind he can’t love normally and he wouldn’t want to put someone through that

He was insecure about himself in his relationship with Carla. She was everything he wasn’t, he didn’t think he was deserving of her, and after her passing he thinks he’s even less worthy

It’s why he’s surprised the courier had confessed to him. They know more about him than anyone. They know things he was to scared to tell Carla and yet they still love him

He does not understand it at all

He needs a patient partner. He can be incredibly closed off if something is eating at him. He would appreciate being checked up on but he’s not going to talk about it in the moment

Boone is incredibly perceptive and able to read his partner like a book. Great listener, he can tell always what’s bothering his partner

He usually pulls them aside, and lets them process it for a minute and ask if they want to talk about it

Not a big gift giver unless it has meaning. Like the beret he gave them on their first meeting

As I said before he’s incredibly perceptive, he takes notice of the little things his partner does like stocking up on his favorite foods or buying him more ammo. He really appreciates that, he does the same when he has the chance

Not a huge PDA person. He won’t ever initiate it in public but won’t complain if his partner does (he really likes it but he won’t tell them that)

Needs a partner who is willing to take control, he can take the lead but he’s anxious about romance in general. It will take him a while before finding his proper footing

[marithlizard]

More thoughts about "Mastermind", etc: 1) When you look at the "most viewed" part of a Youtube video it's almost always a sexy moment. But this time I think we all know _exactly_ what the most viewed moment is. Bryce and Brandon were born for these roles and Sam Haft is a fucking genius.

2) (looks up this Patrick Page guy) No wonder everyone swooned over Hadestown! The vocal talent in these shows is ridiculous.

3) Oh. As @hina-has-no-life pointed out, Blitz isn't being hailed as a hero because he survived the trial. It's because Satan livestreamed the whole thing, being too lazy and contemptuous to even think about editing, and all of Hell has now seen Blitz _successfully_ argue with Satan himself to defend his employees, to speak out for all imp-kind who are just "doing their jobs", and to use his final words to shout defiance at the unfair system. That's gotta be unheard of. It probably won't last, but for the moment, kid Blitzo has achieved his dream. He is the most famous imp ever.

4) We've seen Stolas gleefully tackle a huge pile of paperwork in "Oops". And in "Ghostfuckers", we saw Moxxie despairing over an even bigger pile. Was this all setup for Stolas's new career at IMP? 5) Prediction: It won't be until bedtime the next night that Stolas realizes Blitz doesn't have a bedroom. And he's just too tall for that sofa. He needs his own place, but how could he possibly afford one?

6) Prediction: Loona and Millie will each find a quiet moment to deliver a shovel talk to Stolas. Moxxie will be too busy showing Stolas the ropes and being so relieved to have someone competent to shove the accounting off on. But when Stolas asks in bewilderment how the finances got so bad, Moxxie will point at a downward-trending graph and say "See that? That's when you two broke up." 7) Hope for the future: someday Moxxie, Stolas and Vassago will go see musicals together while Blitz and Millie hang out and shoot pool (and the occasional bystander). Everyone will be happy with this arrangement. 8) Barbie saw that broadcast. So did Cash. So did Paimon. All of them will show up in S3. 9) Wait, Stolas began studying the grimoire to do his job as a young kid. We don't actually know what his job _is_, other than "finding prophecies", but Andrealphus won't have clue one about how to do it. Will he make Via do it for him? Will Paimon show up to tell him he's an incompetent asshat and take it away? Or will Stolas regain his position before it matters? 10) I still want to know about the legions! Is there literally an army division somewhere twiddling its thumbs waiting for a war? Does Stolas mentor officers and run war games? Or is this, like, a metaphorical sort of legions? Eldritch beings summoned from the void? It would be hilarious if Andrealphus visited "his" new legions and it's just three bored shark demons and an imp sitting around reading comic books. 11) I'm throwing my hat in the ring and betting that Stolas and Blitz will be a couple by Sinsmas morning. Of course it would be "sensible" for them to take time to work on their own stuff, but neither of them strikes me as that kind of person. Plus I'm sure Stolas has thought about how brief imp lifespans are compared to his own, and what a dangerous career Blitz has even by demon standards. What use is being sensible if it means giving up the limited time you have with the person you love? Also, I really thought Loona's antagonistic relationship with Moxxie and general feeling of inferiority was being built up as a significant part of her character arc, that she and M&M would have to work things out and come to a position of mutual respect. But "Ghostfuckers" showed them making progress in that direction, without anything needing to be said. That's not a criticism - but it did remind me that a show's creators aren't always going to make the same choices we would, or give things the same weight we would. If Stolitz mostly reaches their happy ending next episode, that doesn't make the story weak or problematic or whatever. It just means Viv and Brandon think they have reached a good place with each other, and it's time for the show to focus on other things for S3.

[rei-ismyname]

Who do you think has been the best at writing Kurt and what is your favorite stage of the character? Personally, Kurt from Excalibur is my big favorite.

Hey! I don't think I've actually talked about Kurt much, aside from complaining about his NPC status and bizarre priest coding (that was quickly reversed) in From The Ashes

It's hard to argue with Excalibur as a defining run for Kurt's character and his themes. He got to buckle his swash and I really enjoy the relationships built during Excalibur (except Brian. Dude sucks IMO) - even if those relationships and shared experiences have been backgrounded of late. I wasn't aware of different authors when I first read it but looking back Alan Davis if I have to pick.

My favourite stage of the character though is Krakoan Age Kurt. I enjoyed him under Hickman's pen (even if the third law was a mistake.) Si Spurrier made some pretty massive missteps in Way of X but I'm glad that his reaction to Krakoa generally and The Crucible specifically was explored. There's a lot of ways to approach 'I need to start a mutant religion' and zooming in on his personal crisis of faith and allying him with Legion really worked for me.

Focusing on people and examining the laws with the background threat of Onslaught was clever, and he reached the only conclusions that makes sense. I do wish it was longer and a deeper dive into the laws, but it'd break the premise a little if The Onslaught Revelation ended and Kurt said out loud that the Krakoan government is corrupt and we need to start from scratch. Everyone nearly died permanently because Xavier has too much power with no means of accountability.

I'd have hated it if he really did start a religion; The Spark was a secular philosophy that addressed his personal crisis and resonated with a certain kind of person. I've seen people call it a religion and it makes me wonder if they read the book. The foray into justice reform in Legion of X is something I loved on a conceptual level - yes he was using his QC position for legitimacy but at its core the Altar and Legionaries was about the little people, the younger folks, those working for redemption. Kurt's pointed and specific refusal to co-operate with Charles Xavier on his authoritarian bs was a great character beat, as was defending Juggernaut's agency and the chance to be better. I do wish the original sin of Sabertooth in the hole was touched on, but Victor LaValle nailed it elsewhere so I can't complain.

Combined with the Quiet Council dissolution in Immortal X-Men I think we'd have seen an upswell of younger, politically engaged mutants eager to reform their home. I digress.

I loved Kurt's time as Spider-Man (or spinnenmann lol) as a kind of back to basics during the worst time for mutants. It's relatable that he'd be overwhelmed by trauma and grief and just want to be 'a whole Kurt Wagner' for a while. Fight some bad guys, have a romance, eat pizza with Spider-Man. I definitely liked the retcons in X-Men Blue: Origins, the follow up in X-Men Forever, but most of all that he was allowed to be angry about it in Uncanny #700. Trust is earned and neither of his bio parents have done that.

As I mentioned, I'm unimpressed with how he's been used in From The Ashes. He's wasted as a background character and I think putting him on the Uncanny team was a mistake. If it was my decision I'd have him as a peacemaker, flitting from team to team and book to book. I especially feel like he'd visit Katschen himself and not be a party to Iceman spying on her. Kurt and Kitty have a much closer relationship. Tom Brevoort has been outspoken about the X-Men killing people in Fall of X - Kurt and Kitty are the perfect lens to explore that through.

I get that he was already taken by Uncanny, but focusing on Logan and Rogue (where their familial relationship 'upgrade' is recent and barely established) to the detriment of other longstanding relationships feels like a waste to me.

It seems I had more thoughts on Kurt than I thought. Thanks for the ask!

[acroagoraphobe]

Headcannons for living with Joshua Graham mordern AU?

Oooo.. I already have agood few so ima put em all together!

And a good few new ones too!

Ungodly amount of decorative pillows in his house, all over the couches, on the beds.

Its literally the worst, All the beds have uncomfy decorative comforters.

He doesn't really get out of the house except for church, so he just sits in his room reading most of the time.

Probably goes to book club on the weekends with the church ladies though.

Lots and lots of potted plants. So many potted plants. inside and outside the house.

Does not cook. Since even in a modern AU.. bad history with fires (His last house got burnt down at the last legion cookout.) So you have to cook for him.

He also doesn't have a microwave because he doesn't trust them.

Divorced Dad. Need I say more?

Sits on the porch reading when not at book club, church, or in his room. Sometimes he stares menacingly at passerby.

Pet Gecko he keeps in his room in a gecko tank? enclosure? whatever the hell you call the lizard storage.

You will probably hear him complain passive agressively that the dishes aren't done, yet he also doesn't do them.

Laundry though, that shit is done, dried, ironed, and folded perfectly and put up. As much as he complains about doing laundry he sure likes doing it.

there's so many crosses hung up in his house. (Reminds me of that one thing where a guy's grandma hung up a foam Minecraft sword because she thought it was a cross.)

The king of horrendous, Live laugh love things. Utensil holder, front door sign. DOORMAT.

Will constantly complain about people in the park Larping if he ever does go outside and be grumpy in the park (He used to be a larper, he's just a bitchy old man)

Can't work a computer to save his life. Somehow gets it to blue screen by opening a single tab in google. Do not let him near your computer.

He has a flip phone. No you cannot argue this. And he leaves it in the worst places and he has like the worst ringtone option possible. It's so annoying. Dear god is it annoying.

This man does not own a single pair of non-cargo shorts, or sweatpants. it's either formal or 80's dad. Yes he wears Newbalances.

The wallpaper in his house is like all like floral print and its super ugly but Joshua genuinely really likes it so you don't wanna point it out that it's ugly as fuck. But he knows deep down that its absolutely hideous snd refuses to acknowledge it like how he refuses to acknowledge his mistakes and when he's wrong in an argument and then just silently sits there and says nothing angrily.

The most inconvenient locks are broken. bathroom lock? broken when he bought the house. Bedroom lock? Broke because he slammed the door too hard and then it didn't latch and he slammed it again over snd over and he got more pissed at the door so he punched it really hard.

He gets realllyyyy pissy sometimes. Like i mean hella pissy. Like for no reason either. best to leave him to his own devices.

Just does random lore drops like "I used to be on a bowling team. and once almost killed a man with a bowling ball." then walks off back to his room.

[moodymisty]

So recently I've read the first trilogy of the Heresy for the second time, and I can't get Horus from those particular books out of my head.

He's tired. Annoyed. Worn down. He tries his best to save his faces and as time goes further he fails more and more often.

A Primarch could take a lot. He's a mighty being that is unable to get a burnout just from some paperwork. But he's got the whole paperwork of the Crusade, several millions of ships, billions of people to organize and command. In addition to his and his brothers' legions matters.

Even his Mournival starts to annoy him. In private, he is slowly losing his charm and fatherly demeanour, becoming grumpy and brooding. He only allows Erebus to stay close to him and... to you.

One late night he just walks into your shared rooms and stays silently in the doorway, his arms crossed in his chest. In the dim light coming from the corridor you could've seen the circles under his eyes and the weariness shown on his face. If you weren't asleep.

He could stay like this for a long time, even when the work is yet to be done and with his sons and Erebus waiting for him. Those quiet moments, of which you don't know, keep him at least somewhat sane.

At times like this, Horus feels like he can finally let himself go. He can slide to the floor, leaning against the wall as he just looks at your sleeping form, unwilling to crawl to the bed you two used to share every night so to not disturb your sleep. He doesn't have to be the Warmaster at those moments, he is not even a Primarch — as much as he loves and shows off his titles the amount of work cast onto him because of it makes him wish he was a baseline. He's just Horus, a man in love who allowed himself to have a moment of peace next to his unaware beloved before he comes back to his duty.

One day you wake up when he's like this, sitting next to the bed, only his head rested on the sheets. Maybe it was a bad dream or a sound he involuntarily made, it doesn't matter. You crawl to him quickly, still half-asleep, your voice raspy and your eyes half-lidded, yet you're still worried, almost scared of his uncharacteristic behavior.

"I'm alright, my love," he whispers, as he gently holds your hand in his large one.

But you do not believe him. You're hissing half-joking scolding as you drag him to the bed to you, berating him for his overly responsible behavior and enlightening him that he'll end up passing out in the middle of a battlefield if he doesn't get to know about some work-ethics. It's all jokes, and even the dragging is — if he didn't want to, he wouldn't move — until instead of a laugh, a small sob escapes his lips.

There's a moment when you have to be quick. You have to cup his face, make his teary eyes look at you. You can't let him leave, excusing himself with some dumb reason of being just "too tired".

After that, you both can finally slow down, and the loss of pressure on Horus shoulders, even if it is for just a moment, makes him become a mess.

He complies silently when you gently pull him closer so his head rests on your chest. You feel the violent shudders coming through his mighty frame. You feel your nightdress become wet from the tears, that pour out of his eyes with no sound and no resistance from his side.

Horus breaks — crackles — quietly. Like the sand of a sand castle, he breaks down accompanied by a soft lull of the shore.

You comfort him, and you can't tell how much time you've spent on it. But eventually your gentle touches and soothing words make him close his eyes and fall asleep.

You know he needs this night much more than you do.

awww Horus;;; this so so sad :'(

[nellasbookplanet]

Book recs: sapphic romance for people who like Hannibal and Interwiev with the Vampire, aka fucked up and toxic

Enemies to lovers, lovers to enemies, fucked up power imbalances, manipulations, plain bad people doing bad things - if you like your sapphics a little bit dark check out these books!

Some of these end happily, some tragically, some are more will-they-won’t-they than full on romance, some focus on healing while others focus on Getting Worse, but they’re all very juicy.

For details on the books, continue under the readmore

Feel free to recommend more books in tags and comments!

Othe book rec posts:

Really cool fantasy worldbuilding

Really cool sci-fi worldbuilding

Mermaid books

Vampire books

The Abyss Surrounds Us by Emily Skrutskie

Young Adult. tumblr classic back in the day! A trainer of sea monsters genetically engineered to protect ships from pirates is kidnapped by, you guessed it, pirates, one of whom happens to be very hot.

Escaping Exodus by Nicky Drayden

While my feelings on Escaping Exodus were mixed, it cannot be denied that the dynamic between the two leads and the way they go from childhood best friends to enemies on different sides of a class and power struggle is very delicious. It also features some really cool worldbuilding of living, alien generation spaceships and the human culture that has developed inside them.

The Stars are Legion by Kameron Hurley

This book fucked me up when I read it. It’s weird, it's gross, there’s So Much Viscera, there are literally no men, it has living spaceships and biotech but in the most horrific way imaginable. Had I to categorize it I would call it grimdark military sf. It’s an experience but not necessarily a pleasant one.

The Lumionus Dead by Caitlin Starling

Possibly one of the most unsettling books I've ever read, and definitely the most claustrophobic. Gyre, a caver on an alien planet, ventures into the dark and dangerous underground, guided only by a woman who has no compunctions on using and manipulating Gyre as she sees fit to obtain her secretive goals down in the caves.

The Jasmine Throne by Tasha Suri

On the less toxic and fucked up side of the spectrum, but still pretty juicy. A princess held captive by her own brother, who wants to see her dead, tries to trick a servant into helping her escape, but with undeniable attraction growing between them and the servant having her own goals things quickly get complicated.

Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir

Listen, if you're on tumblr I probably don't need to explain this book to you. Trust me when I say it's exactly as good as people claim. There are indeed lesbian necromancers in space (quite a few of them, actually), but also incredible worldbuilding that keeps growing with every new installment, interesting political commentary, morally complex characters with fucked up dynamics, and well-thought out plot that keeps you guessing until the last.

They Never Learn by Layne Fargo

Listen, sometimes you just want to read about a vicious bisexual lady professor who murders predatory men and falls for the woman trying to solve her crimes and that's okay.

Fingersmith by Sarah Waters

The source of not one but two movie adaptations, Fingersmith is a story of trickery and manipulation as a young conwoman works to gain the trust of a heiress. I don’t want to say much more because the twists are some of the best parts, but trust that it doesn’t take long for things to get real complicated between them.

The Unbroken by C.L. Clark

Tourraine, who was stolen as a child and trained as a soldier for the empire that conquered her home, is recruited by Luka, the future leader of the conquering country to route out a rebellion. A game of twisted loyalties and attraction is soon to develop.

This Is How You Lose the Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone

Again, if you're on tumblr (or twitter, apparently) you have in all likelihood already heard of this one, too. Just like GtN it lives up to all expectations. It features two women on different sides of the titular time war, who starts leaving letters for the other to find as they chase each other through time. A quick read, slightly surreal, and absolutely beautiful, I cannot recommend this enough. Pretty mild on the fucked-up-scale.

House of Hunger by Alexis Henderson

In a world where the rich drink blood to preserve their health, Marion applies to a position as bloodmaid in a notorious noble house far from home. Suddenly showered with luxuries and debauchery, Marion soon gains the interest and favor of Lisavet, countess of the house. A fresh take on the idea of vampires.

Sorrowland by Rivers Solomon

A young pregnant woman flees a cult that left her body strange and changing in terrifying ways. Hidden from the world, she does her best to raise her children while trying to find out the truth of the cult and being pursued by a hunter in a dangerous game of cat and mouse. In no way a romance, but certainly has some fucked up sapphic shit going on.

The Traitor Baru Cormorant by Seth Dickinson

After her home was conquered by another land, Baru is determined to join their forces and climb the ladder until she’s in a position to free her people. To prove her loyalty, she’s sent to bring order and quell rebellion in another conqured region. Baru is set to succeed, but also has to struggle with her feelings for Tain Hu, a duchess of this region.

Ice Massacre (Mermaids of Eriana Kwai trilogy) by Tiana Warner

Young Adult. A small island is forced to defend itself against intruding forces of vicious mermaids. As all men trying to fight them get lured in by their siren song, a ship filled with warrior girls is sent instead. However one of them, Meela, had a complicated past with one of the mermaids, which is brought back to life when the two reunite on the battlefield. This one is also available as an ongoing webcomic!

Borderline (The Arcadia Project trilogy) by Mishell Baker

Urban fantasy mystery. Very much of the will-they-won’t-they variety, with a bisexual lead who has a male love interest as well as a female without falling into the typical pitfalls of a love triangle. Plays around with various fucked up power dynamics. A year after a failed suicide attempt that cost her both her legs, Millie is recruited by a secretive organisation that works to control traffic to and from Arcadia, the land of faries. Bear in mind that while the sapphic-ness is present throughout, it has a much smaller presence in book 1 than books 2 and 3.

Bonus AKA I haven't read these yet but they seem really cool

The Hunger by Whitley Strieber

Ancient vampire is on the hunt for a new partner, none of which tend to last long.

Codename Villanelle by Luke Jennings

Precursor of the famous Killing Eve tv series. While I don’t know much of the books, I did enough research to know this: their endings differ.

[hoodlessmads]

Dark Heir spoiler thoughts:

Okay some of these are criticisms but please understand I really liked it! I liked it even more than Dark Rise. I’m just an overdramatic person and need to yell sometimes.

These don’t have any particular order, I’m just freestyling -

Reading Captive Prince years ago (and rereading since) before reading Dark Rise made me have an unfair resentment towards James for being basically the same character as Laurent but not as good and that continued here

Will is the second best character Pacat has ever made after Laurent and book 3 might push him ahead

I loved seeing Will use more and more of his evil powers

The best one being where he possesses anyone with a brand and his eyes turn black and he turns into Legion (maybe shoulda turned that off before trying to appeal to Violet…)

Finding out his mom actually was tying him to bedposts and beating him this whole time somehow shocked me because for some silly reason I believed one of the most unreliable third person subjective narrators ever, Will, that she was a nice lady just doing her best. Anyway I love this revelation because it makes such perfect sense, it’s just, “Oh. Of course.”

Violet and Cyprian are both himbos yet Violet is somehow the only character with a single brain cell left at the end of the book

Cyprian drinking from the cup makes no sense after they had a whole discussion in the first book about how drinking from the cup put the Stewards into the Dark King’s plans and made them his thralls and was the entire reason they died, a massacre which Cyprian experienced viscerally, and then he goes and drinks from the cup anyway and oops surprise Will can in fact enthrall him. Cyprian is able to fight it off but that doesn’t change the complete recklessness and out-of-character-ness of it to me.

Violet/Cyrprian is a good ship

Phillip/Visander is hilarious (in a good way)

Will/James is fine but I wish I was more compelled by them than I actually am. For being the main couple, I don’t feel like their relationship has been given the room it needed to develop organically and instead it feels like we’re falling back on physical attraction and a vague shadow of a past relationship in the old world that we didn’t get to see. It’s hard not to compare to Damen/Laurent which by contrast was developed so painstakingly.

Elizabeth is incredible

Visander sucks, actually

The whole Light kind of sucks. The Stewards, the Sun Kingdom, they were all assholes

People with black-and-white morality are truly terrible, aren’t they? And pretty much everyone is like that except for Will, James, and Violet

Sometimes I felt like that fact was really being hammered in on purpose almost as though to make James murdering like 300 people seem less bad (but it didn’t….)

But I don’t dislike James because he murdered 300 people, I actually love villains and I especially am attached to the idea of everyone being redeemable. But what I don’t like is the book telling me I should like James without giving me a good reason or the book downplaying his actions to make him seem more sympathetic. He can have murdered all the Stewards and still be compelling, we don’t need to diminish what he’s done in order for him to be likable

Also everyone in this book except like, Will and maybe Violet and James is an idiot (and I’ll excuse Elizabeth for only being ten). Someone send these characters to Psych 101, they don’t seem to understand the concept of a self-fulfilling prophecy…

Like obviously if you tell someone they’re evil over and over again for their whole lifetime they will become evil

Theory - I don’t think Violet will turn on Will. I think she’s just shell-shocked. She wasn’t really given a chance to take a stance before James Peter Panned him away. Violet knows exactly what it feels like to be told you are evil because of some past thing, and she knows Will better than any of the other characters. And she knows that morality is not black and white (Tom is her brother). She’ll definitely end up in Will’s corner by the end.

Theory - The line of the Lady and the line of the Dark King are the same bloodline and they split off later. Sarcean’s “cataclysmic night together” with the Lady was mentioned not once but twice. Pacat doesn’t waste lines. The child that the Lady had was Sarcean’s, or at least one of them.

Will better figure out how to destroy that collar quick…before they both get even more traumatized. I think that will be one of his main goals in book 3. Or I hope…otherwise it will be hard to develop the genuine romance

I sure hope Will can also figure out how to expel that shadow from Cyprian before he like… dies. Don’t do that to Violet D:

So, I’m not a huge fan of YA in general (outside of YA anime and manga which for some reason hits different). I used to like it a lot, it used to be most of what I read. I grew up reading series like Redwall, Darren Shan, Demonata, Pendragon, and so on. But I’ve grown out of the genre (I’m 27). Not every adult does - one of my best friends who is a year older than me still really enjoys YA. But because I don’t like YA, I think my enjoyment of Dark Rise/Dark Heir is influenced and my criticisms may be unfair.

But I find that with fantasy series like this, I the books really need to be longer. Or there needs to be more of them. I feel like Dark Rise has so many moving pieces, enough characters that there could be a trading card game (and there are literally collectible cards), so many different magical artifacts and magical powers, an entire magical old world beneath the semi-magical 1820s Europe world to develop, and also by the way a whole story that took place 10,000 years ago that has to be told at some point. I find myself feeling like all these different elements are being introduced and moved on from too fast and I wish they were all given more time to breathe. I think that’s part of why the relationship between Will and James feels a bit rushed to me. I don’t know if the short length of the series was Pacat’s choice or an editor’s, though. I don’t feel like Captive Prince had this issue because there were no supernatural elements, the cast was much smaller, and the plot was comparably simple so a lot of it got to be characters just talking to each other, which was great, and the world building was accomplished mainly through these interactions. The plot and world of Dark Rise is much larger in scope but the page count is the same (a little longer maybe).

So wait who is Mrs. Duval

Why did Ettore leave the Stewards anyway? Other than the obvious, which is that they suck

Where was Grace during the whole ending scene? Wasn’t she there but just not saying anything. As this total calamity befalls her only remaining friend group she finally has seen too much and just nopes out and is busy making tea in the corner or maybe popcorn

I do really like Cyprian btw in spite of thinking his moral code is shitty. Gave Violet a chance but sold Will for one corn chip… I see how it is (okay that’s not fair but you know what I mean, he has flaws)

It sounds like I’m in the majority when I say that I still don’t like Devon - I saw that theory about him being the final big bad and I’m so on that train. I think he’d make a good enough final villain. I agree there is something predatory about him and Tom. I don’t necessarily think Pacat wants us to root for them as a couple, though. There were better ways to pull that off if that was the intent.

Not to repeat myself but Phillip was such a pleasant surprise. Like who is this fruit and how did he get here

So next book, I hope (assume) we get to see the rest of the old world story filled in so we can understand where it all went wrong for Sarcean and also the exact nature of his relationship with Anharion because so far it’s been quite vague (intentionally I assume). Like….. you know….. did he agree to put on the collar?

The tricky thing about this series is that once the reader learns that Will is the Dark King, it’s hard to maintain any sort of external tension. Right? It’s hard to feel afraid of the forces of the Dark when the protagonist has total effortless control over them just by virtue of who he is. Will can literally just be like, “No, don’t” and everything’s fine. He did just this at the end of Dark Rise. I find the way Dark Heir seems to end with their “only hope of stopping the Dark army” destroyed to be pretty unconvincing. Why on earth would Sarcean create a destructible object that is the only way of controlling his own army? Of course Will should be able to control them with his will alone. If he can control Shadow Kings and make them die with his words alone, why didn’t he try yelling at the shadow army to stop trying to possess people? This doesn’t make sense to me. And if people become Returners through his magic, shouldn’t he be able to exert some control over their existence the way he does with the branded? Pacat has done a good enough job at getting us to know Sarcean (an extremely good job btw) so as to make the destroyed brand plot point unbelievable. Anyway…

Instead, the tension in Dark Heir is almost entirely internal or realized in character relationships rather than physical threats. The tension is between Will and himself, and between Will and his friends. (There are tensions between other characters but focusing on the main plot here.) The possibility that they might find out and abandon him, and the possibility that he might actually be as nasty of a guy as Sarcean was, the slim chance that he might learn something that makes him go, “You know what, I agree with my past self after all.”

Now that everyone has found out who he is, that particular source of tension has sort of evaporated, so now in book 3 Pacat has to find a way to make Will’s conflict with himself and his friends compelling enough to carry us through 450 pages (I don’t expect this will be difficult). What I see as the problems now are 1) what was Sarcean actually planning and how did he plan on getting Will (himself) to fall in line with them (this was a question in Dark Heir as well but now it’s bigger), 2) how is Will going to destroy his own (Sarcean’s) Dark artifacts so he can free James, and 3) Can he convince anyone to ever love him (oh no ouch).

If I had to rank these books at this stage I’d probably give Rise a 3.7 ish…. and Heir a 4.2. I’m holding out for Dark King to be a 5 or close. (I don’t know what the actual title will be, I’m just guessing lol.) I definitely think Dark Heir is an improvement over Dark Rise since I always thought the most interesting part of the latter by far was everything that happened once Will learns he is the Dark King at the very end.

“Are we going to talk about the magic pseudo-sex scene—“ No and I hope we never will

[ripplestitchskein]

This is super crackish but I am DELIGHTED. So in Western Energy Andrealphus’s actions indicate that he is playing his sister in order to gain the upper hand for HIM. He is obviously flattering and manipulating her and loses his patience multiple times “You stupid cow”, which shows through the cracks of what he is saying and his fake demeanor.

This could be just a weird brother and sister dynamic, he genuinely wants to get the money for Stella and she’s just stupid so he loses his patience but why go through this subterfuge and the song and dance of walking her through it to make to seem like her idea? I’ve always found the dynamic odd, why not just tell her flat out “You can’t kill him we need his money, if he dies it goes to Via.” Why coo and simper and put on a whole performance?

That reasoning also falls flat for me. Stella and Via do not appear to have a bad relationship, Via is often with her and Stella takes her on weekends. If Stolas died and Via inherited why would they assume she’d cast Stella out? Why does Stella need to inherit directly? She doesn’t have control of the money and power now. She never has. She just has access to it. Which she still could. What’s the difference? Wouldn’t a grieving, untrained, teenage daughter be easier to manipulate into giving up the money, power and legions than leaving Stolas alive and having to do some convoluted plan in a nebulous future involving an already powerful demon? Like bad planning Andrealphus, think it through.

Also, what does he even need this money and power FOR? He has a palace of his own. He has powers of his own. I assume legions of his own. He doesn’t appear to be hurting for money in his own right. For Stella’s sake? He seems to kinda dislike her? He certainly doesn’t respect her. He clearly thinks she’s an idiot. He’s obviously manipulating her and leading her towards something. So what is he trying to get that he doesn’t already have?

And why NOW? Why wait until after Stolas is trying to get a divorce? Like if he truly is doing it for her sake it makes sense it wouldn’t come up until her position was at risk. He might very well be doing this out of love for her.

Like the serious side of me knows there’s probably a larger plan at work on Andrealphus’s part than has been revealed and it’s entirely greedy and will be shown to us in Mastermind and Sinsmas, I also have some ideas for how Mammon/Oz/Fizz will tie that all together but today I was watching Western Energy and my insane brain was like “What if Vassago is a misdirect and Andrealphus is Stolas’s romantic fairytale lead?”

HEAR ME OUT. IT’S SO FUNNY

We have no other indication about what Andrealphus is like other than Stolas saying “Your arrogant brother”. That is our first description of him. That is a hugely popular romance novel trope. How many arrogant love interests exist in the romance space, like a billion? Think about how often a posh aristocrat has called their love interest “arrogant”. And the entire plot of one MC having to marry the brother of another. Like that’s peak romance novel.

What made me think of this is that when Andrealphus is talking to Stella his manipulations are solely about keeping Stolas alive. That is his entire stated goal. He elaborates with “Eternity is a long time my dear” and he sounds fascinated that Stolas is behaving this way. Like Andrealphus has an opportunity for something now. I was just like “In a different context this would read like Andrealphus manipulating her into keeping Stolas alive to save his life. Like technically Andrealphus saved Stolas this episode. That’s interesting.”

And then my brain snagged on the cover of the romance book, it being two avian demons and of course the trailer where we don’t see Stella coming for Stola and Blitz but Andrealphus.

And like if all this was happening because Andrealphus has been secretly in love with Stolas this whole time and found out she hired Striker the first time time so has been trying to keep him alive and get Stella settled and happy and out of the way so he can be with him? Like obviously Stolas would have no idea, but Andrealphus pining for him and doing all these things he doesn’t need to do since he’s already rich and powerful would make much more sense. In the short term, like I said they’ll prob reveal something about his actual motivations soon. But looking at where we are right this second that is not incredibly outlandish. It would take like a few flashbacks to sell that and make it work with the current plot.

Andrealphus making his case and Stolas being like “But I love Blitz” would even lead into a really interesting start to the class conflict. Andrealphus can’t believe an imp could be better than him, would be preferred over HIM a royal, and instead of doing what a romantic hero with that plot should do he goes villainous and tries to kill them. Like what an interesting thing for Stolas, to have the cliche romantic hero moment he wanted BECAUSE of a twisted cliche romantic plot line? And Andrealphus’s twisted romance begins a larger divide between imps and Ars Goetia in S3.

Like isn’t that wild? Wouldn’t that be amazing?

[andmaybegayer]

Last Monday of the Week 2025-01-20

Getting the juices flowing, wait, no, not that way

Listening: Atarashii Gakko! is a thrash rock girl group who do these incredibly convoluted and elaborate music videos, I think I saw Pineapple Kryptonite ages ago and forgot to look into them. Their new thing is Tokyo Calling which is a great high-energy song. Terrifically catchy.

Reading: Finished The Spear Cuts Through Water. I love some gay boys who only know how to express their love through punching.

Towards the end the focus of the story starts to slip in a way that works really well with the framing device of the Inverted Theater in which the whole story takes place, as the story slowly moves from being about the protagonists to being about the world they leave behind.

At times I found that the book slowed way, way down, and at other times it moves you through pages at a breakneck speed. The slow sections aren't bad but they could be a little frustrating.

This is very good at selling you the image of the Whole World Around You, between the constant snippets of external thought interjecting onto your story, and the casual way the story moves up and down layers of narrative, you get a very expansive and layered look at the world. Closing out the book by going into the acknowledgements with no warning was incredibly jarring and is such a cool trick to pull off this well.

Watching: Watched John Wick Chapter 3: Parabellum while crashed on the couch trying to convince my slightly sick partner to eat more.

That's John Wick alright. Increasingly he doesn't have to say anything because we all know the deal. It's hard to get this kind of contextless context on mainstream media so it's cool that they can do it here.

As always: my conception of the people of this world is that they're the Faeries, they are the Seelie and Unseelie court, their world is layered on top of ours but basically never interacts except in extremis. There's a tiny bit of bleed through from normal organized crime but that's about it, otherwise they're simply too bizzare, their motivations too foreign. They clearly don't care about like. Real Money that much, they have their own currency that buys you seemingly Anything You Want, from the right guy.

Also watched American Psycho again after a long time. I forgot how much fun this movie is, he's so awful. The man has zero rizz!

Playing: I got my hands on a Lenovo Legion Go at a steep discount, so kicking the tyres on that. Mostly so far I watched my partner play through a few levels of Portal for the first time, which is fun! Truly one of the great games to watch someone play for the first time, even if they constantly badger you for hints.

It's a fascinating little device, shockingly powerful all things considered, I was extremely surprised despite knowing that it's basically a 1650 strapped to a lightweight performance AMD laptop chip. You can just run (low and change) Forza Horizon 5 on this!

I'm not used to controllers in 3D so I will probably stick to platformers and 2D RPG's and visual novels on this for the most part but it'll if nothing else serve as a platform I can plug a mouse and keyboard into and use as a spare PC if I want to do local multiplayer stuff at home. I want to work on a rig to make it an HTPC/gaming console type deal too.

Currently running Windows so I can get a feel for the expectations but it will get Bazzite'd at some point.

Making: Sketches and modelling to figure out some furniture. I found out that my hardware place does online cut-to-order plywood which is a huge boon for my project brain. I can cut wood at the makerspace in town and I still might, but you have to check what they have on hanger or order in some plywood which can get expensive fast once you add in saw time.

Trying to design a folding coffee table that turns into a side table when I'm not using it. I hate coffee tables but there are times when you need one. Current plan is oscillating between all wood or finally breaking down and buying a bunch of carbon fibre tubes to make something stupidly complicated.

This is pushing against not so much my skill level as much as my faff limit. Like. There was the option of doing this in brazed aluminium. But ideally I can do as much of this as possible at the free library makerspace and I don't want to deal with safely doing brazing at a library makerspace.

I also because I have brain worms want this to take down relatively small, because at all times I am thinking about Just Walking Out. Carbon tubes mean I can make it mostly slot and bolt together. Brass was an option but it's so expensive, and while aluminium tubes are an obvious choice I think they are simply piss ugly. I would genuinely do painted PVC first tbh.

Tools and Equipment: Caddy is a really neat project

I've used nginx for HTTP/S and CGI for many years but much of the Weague infrastructure runs on Caddy for simplicity. It's an HTTPS server with a very easy to use configuration structure, fully automatic HTTPS, that works even on local networks, and with a really solid plugin system for CGI. It is less performant than nginx but most of the time nginx is simply not your bottleneck. If you want your project to Just Work, whether that's static site hosting or a more complex application, Caddy is easy to deploy and low maintenance. No more hoping you get cron emails when your cert update fails!

Next time I run into an issue with my personal site infra that requires fixing by editing nginx.conf I'm probably just going to migrate to Caddy.

[thecomicsnexus]

SWAMP THING #69-75

FEB - AUG 1988 By Rick Veitch , Brett Ewins, Alfredo Alcala, Tatjana Wood, John Costanza, Dave McKean, Tom Yeates, John Totleben, and Mike Kaluta.

After refusing to destroy his successor, Swamp Thing accidentally puts his world at risk. Now with the help of John Constantine, he will need to find a new soul for the sprout, and finally retire to live with Abby.

SCORE: 9

The only thing stopping this review from being a 10 is the very complex lore that is starting to make the book very dense. Especially if you come back to the back after a long break. And it's not just the lore, it's also how long these stories are running.

In any case, reading these issues was very refreshing. It was back when stories, no matter how serialized they were, still had a good sense of pacing. And Rick Veitch made sure to give you something back for your money every month.

To me the best episode of this batch was the one with the plane accidents. Looking for a successor for Swampy, John Constantine does all kinds of risky things, just to be able to single out a person who was about to die who was somewhat related to Alec Holland.

But this Gary Holland immediately realizes he is about to die, and every single moment of his last day is plagues with bad omens. Still, John has no other choice but to get in the plane that was about to crash, just to save the world. John survives the plane crash, but then find out that Swampy found the souls of the plane crash and helped move on to the afterlife (he was unaware of John's plan). It was so dark and funny, that it really reminded me of Vertigo comics (or perhaps the average Alan Grant story).

The next episode had also a very creative narrative device. With the panel orientation being taken over by the line of captions, making every page with the character, technically a maze.

These are all very thought-provoking stories with a lot of poetry in the art itself.

But I have to repeat myself here. The great moments were possible thanks to the super long arc, which doesn't even end with issue #75. However, I felt it was the right time to finish the binge. I already knew that Abby was going to try to be a mother, so it didn't come as a surprise.

And here's another thing that's going to make this story even longer. It will crossover with Hellblazer. And I am not sure how much it will matter for the book, but Invasion will also tie in with this book.

Nevertheless, I'll take that small flaw (same problem the Legion books always have), in favor of stories like these.

[ghostinthegallery]

A Necron Reading Guide

For anyone who wants to experience the wonders of Warhammer 40K's incredibly dramatic undead robots from space, here are basically all the published books/stories, ranked into tiers:

Must Read:

The Infinite & The Divine- You've already read this one. If not, your friends and family and the whole internet have recommended it to you. Go read it. A skeleton robot archaeologist throat-punches a dinosaur in like...chapter 2. This is worth your time.

Twice Dead King: Ruin & Reign- duology, so read both books. Wonderfully tragic, all the epic Greek poetry vibes, necrons who need therapy but will never get it. Bring tissues.

Severed- Somehow the most wholesome relationship in all of 40K, plus some fun lore, but mostly we are here for feelings. Also bring tissues but for happy tears this time.

Once you are done and need more (aka the good short stories):

War in the Museum- More of Trazyn being Trazyn, what more can you want?

The Bleeding Stars- See above.

The Word of the Silent King- Szarekh is a weird dude, but it's definitely fun watching him screw with some space marines

Once you really need a fix and realize there's basically nothing else:

The Lords of Borsis- fun scheming political short story, but it misses some of the little touches that make a necron story feel like necrons to me. Not the author's fault, pretty sure at that point GW didn't know the necrons' lore either.

The Devourer- decent little novella featuring Anrakyr the Traveler, but he has to share a lot of page time with some random Blood Angels and a cryptek who does not matter. Not the most compelling of the bunch, but there are worse ways to spend an afternoon.

Don't bother even once your get desperate:

The Everliving Legion- short story anthology. Has Word of the Silent King and Lords of Borsis, so you can get it for those, but the rest of the stories are just humans fighting necrons or being scared of necrons and that is not really what I'm after. Let my necron books be about necrons pls.

Indomitus- don't. Just don't. The book is bad, even by GW standards. They will never explain what the Pariah Nexus thing was about and I have given up hope of ever getting answers.

[immasock]

Hello.... I just came back from church and I will worship demons again. Anyway, I just came into mind to Nephalem! Mc, (I love really OP MC) and I was forced to read the bible and another version that's the reason I've come to this conclusion. So like it's between Belith (the most powerful demon king who owns 85(?) demon legions) and Seraphina (the female version of the six winged seraphim) they do the nasty and boom demonangel baby whose raised in an human orphanage because God forbids and Bebelith's (uwu) kingdom opposed. And the child somehow almost terrorizes the entire human race without exposing themselves. Imagine those reactions from the bros + dateables hekhek. I really love the bible sometimes you know...

It’s been too long but my god I’m excited to do this one. I always love your ideas

Nephalem!MC + The Obey me boys

Pronouns: They/Them

The chaos

MC grew up as an orphan, going in and out of foster homes and different adoptive parents. It never lasted though. No one knew why. The kid seemed nice enough, if not a little quiet

Some say it was because they were too quiet. They never talked or bonded with the families. Others say that it was because the other families kept having kids of their own and decided they didn’t need MC anymore

But the real reason? The real reason was because they were actually a little terror

They would start out seeming innocent, sure, but that was all a part of their plan

After about a week though? They would start causing all sorts of chaos.

When MC got sent down to the Devildom, they thought it would be the same thing. They’d be there for maybe a month and then be sent back. But no, that’s not quite what happened

Lucifer:

When MC first came through the portal, he wasn’t quite sure what to make of them

He knew that something wasn’t quite right about them but that would have to be an issue for later

He has things to do

He assigned Mammon to deal with them while he went back to his office to check this “humans” file

Except wait

No

They are, in fact, not a human

Well fuck

This didn’t go like he planned

He immediately tells Diavolo, thinking he’d want to send MC back and get a new exchange student

But no

He wants to keep them

Of course 😑

Lucifer can’t do much else besides just proceed as normal, he supposes

But he does keep an eye on the kid

It’s bad enough that he’s got to be responsible for a child, but a Nephalem?

He’s going to be grey by the time the exchange program is over

Mammon:

He genuinely has no clue

I love him but he doesn’t have the faintest idea

MC walks through that portal and he just assumes they’re just some human

Honestly, he won’t figure it out unless he’s told or if he catches them doing something

Even then, he might just assume they’ve been hanging around Solomon too much

He is, however, a great target for MCs chaos

He’s constantly being messed with

His things go missing, only to show up in random places

Grimm will appear and disappear in front of him

You get the gist

He’s easy to mess with

Which is why MC likes to hang around him

But he doesn’t mind too much

Once he warms up to them at least

He enjoys the company

Leviathan:

He also doesn’t know

But it’s mostly just because he doesn’t care

He’s focused on his games and anime

I get the feeling that he would be all over it if he found out though

Like he would think that it’s super cool

He could absolutely figure it out if he decided to dedicate the brain power to it

But he’s got other things to worry about

He’s also pretty easy to mess with

But be careful

He’s not just gonna get over it quickly like Mammon does

While MC could probably take Levi, I wouldn’t recommend it

Maybe avoid doing anything to his collections

Satan:

He figures it out pretty quickly

He’s a smart demon

MC absolutely fascinates him

He spends a bunch of his free time studying them

Trying to figure out anything and everything he can about them

Well

Until MC decides to be a little shit

Books start going missing and showing back up with writing on the pages

His feather boa is nowhere to be found (Though Mammon and Asmodeus aren’t complaining about that one)

At one point, Satan got turned into a cat for a few hours

Okay he didn’t mind that one all that much but still

It’s about the principle

It’s not smart to mess with him either but oh well

Asmodeus:

Every time I do a child!mc, I say the same thing

He absolutely adores them

He thinks they’re adorable and he can’t wait to dress them up

Maybe not this one tho

He still thinks they’re cute and wants to do little fashion shows with them, but it’s not really going to go how he planned

It’s crazy

Makeup isn’t the right color and the clothes keep changing into other clothes

How weird

In reality, MC just doesn’t like being dressed up so they have to make it fun for themselves somehow

I don’t have much to say for Asmo

Except that he’s gonna be a bit of a good sport when it comes to the chaos that is MC

Beelzebub:

Honestly

He also does not notice that there’s something off about the “human”

He’s gonna be easy to mess with as well

But do be careful

Stay away from his food

We’ve all seen the rampages he goes on when someone touches his food

I think that he would just assume that MC is this fragile little child and so he’d try to protect them

But he’s in for a surprise the first time that someone tries to mess with them

You can imagine that he’s speechless when he sees MC, this small child, absolutely demolish some demon

Doesn’t have to be physically

They could verbally destroy some random demon trying to mess with them as well

Either way, he wasn’t expecting it

Belphegor:

Honestly, this could go either way

I don’t think he’d be able to tell right away

Which is where lesson 16 would come in

But I think that, based on how this MC would react, he’d figure out that something isn’t quite right after that

Like

There’s no way in hell this is some normal human, right?

Not after all that

Once he figures it out, he’d be pretty indifferent

He’d be put at ease that there isn’t a human staying with them

And he’d be more than happy to help them cause chaos

Especially if it’s directed towards Lucifer

Somehow tho

I don’t think he’d be that easy to fuck with

I feel like he’d be unbothered by anything they could do to him

Well

Mostly

Diavolo:

Once again, absolutely loves them

Even before he finds out

Which doesn’t take that long

Obviously

Since Lucifer found out and told him

I feel like he would be 100% on board with any mischief that they cause

Having to do all his princely duties all the time is so boring

He enjoys the entertainment

He would probably also be enamored with them

Wanting to see all that they can do

I dunno I wasn’t able to fall asleep last night so my brain isn’t very creative

He would try and involve them and what they can do in things and events

Most likely

He’s just excited

Barbatos:

He knew first

He just didn’t tell anyone

Because why would he?

I swear, this man lives for drama

He would never admit it but it’s true

Anyways

He doesn’t care either

As long as MC doesn’t cause problems

Which they absolutely will

I feel like his attitude towards MC would be similar to what it is with Dia and Luke

Just another child to look after

He’s fond of them tho

Don’t let him tell you otherwise

Simeon:

I don’t have much to say about him

He might be able to tell

Or he might not

If he does, he definitely does that thing he does where he doesn’t outright say he knows, but he drops hints

Like

He might make a passing comment about how MC is similar to some of the angels he knows

And then a day later say how they remind him of one of the brothers

He would definitely wait for MC to outright tell him tho to actually say anything

He’s respectful like that

Solomon:

He knows

Maybe not right away but pretty early on

He’s also absolutely fascinated

He wants to do so many tests on them

Surely they react differently to his potions and spells, no?

Maybe they’ll love his cooking like the rest of them

That’s what he thinks at least

Or not

It’s been a while since I’ve played but I wouldn’t be surprised if he knew no one liked his cooking but he kept doing it just to take the piss

He’s such an asshole and I love him

[ducksbellorum]

whumpuary day 25

prompts: drowsiness, "I'm fine"

tw: pet whump (gen, although stronger in this one than usual), mild self harm, sleep deprivation

Legion had always assumed that things would be easier without the voices in their head. When Mistress taught them to build up the walls in their mind, Legion expected their life to change for the better. And to be fair, in some ways it had. Legion found that they were able to keep their eyes on the physical more easily, that their ears didn't get scrambled with the echo of a hundred voices. They were learning how to be in the here and now, slowly but surely. There was progress, and they were grateful.

They had to remember that they were grateful.

It was just that there was so much to remember now. Before, it was all that they could do to follow simple commands, remain upright, remember their own name. They were scared all the time and half-mad and in pain, but it had been an uncomplicated life. Now, though, Legion had space to think, to remember, and to know. And what they knew was that they were a very bad Pet indeed.

Mistress had been bringing home books from the library about Pets and Pet ownership. Brushing up, she'd explained with a laugh when Legion hadn't asked. After she left for work each day, Legion pored over them. The words meant nothing of course, but the pictures, showing happy and well-trained Pets sitting prettily for their owners, ate at them. They mimicked each posture over and over, trying to remember how to be good.

There was, in the back of their mind, a place where half-recalled instinct told them what they were meant to do. Sit, serve, suffer, in silence. Things they had never had to be before, because they had been so very useful. The violence they'd suffered had nothing to do with correction and everything to do with focus. They had never internalized it as training and so had never been trained. Any poor behavior was excused by the gift and the purpose that they served.

But now they had a new Mistress, who wanted very different things than Legion was used to. She had taught them how to bridle their gift, which she did not need or want. And she refused to use them either for pain or for pleasure, only touching Legion rarely and reluctantly. She gave them food and rest and even a nickname; though 'Leach' still felt strange to their ears. Legion was stuck in the liminal space of simply existing, a task at which they were discovering that they had no skill. It should have been a mercy. It was agony.

The harder Legion tried to prove their worth, the more they seemed to disappoint their Mistress. They cleaned the house until their fingers were raw from bleach and acid. They cooked for her until their feet ached with standing before the sink and stove. They even stopped sleeping; concentrating instead on practicing the mental exercises she'd given them or the forms they'd memorized from the Pet books. She barely seemed to notice their efforts; or when she did, her reaction was only pity.

“Are you okay?” she asked one evening. She was reading one of her library books, the one that was privately Legion's favorite because it had the best pictures. Legion jumped, guiltily realizing that they had nodded off when they were meant to be folding the laundry.

“This-” Legion stopped when Mistress' lips thinned in displeasure. She had reminded them so often how to speak and still they were disappointing her. “I am fine,” they tried again. It felt wrong in their mouth but the words made her smile and so they said them again. “I'm fine, Mistress.”

But her smile faded when Legion dozed off into the clean laundry not five minutes later. Legion flushed with guilt when she woke them gently. It was only that the clothes had been so warm and they were so tired. They begged for forgiveness but Mistress only shooed them off to bed.

“It's alright, Leach. You're working hard. It's okay to take a break.”

Mistress was always saying things like that. It set their teeth on edge. Every time Legion forgot an exercise and let their guard slip, she was helpful instead of angry. Each time they fumbled something in their clumsy hands or tripped over their own stupid feet, she was gentle instead of violent. Each and every time they were wrong, Mistress simply waved it aside without consequence.

It felt like an itch they couldn't scratch, the way she refused to help them be better. She had helped so much to quiet their mind and now they were left hanging, painfully aware of how poorly they were trained. It wasn't their place to criticize their Mistress, they knew that, but it was just... They were so bad at Pet things, and if she would just correct them, they could be perfect and please her and be sufficiently grateful for all she was doing.

Once, only once, they asked her for it. Legion spilled coffee across the tablecloth, staining it an ugly brown. Mistress acted unconcerned with the mess, but Legion could see how upset she was. It had been her grandmother's, they knew that. They deserved to pay for ruining it. So the Pet knelt at her feet and turned its face up to hers in desperation.

“Please pun-punish me, Mistress,” they asked. Their control slipped briefly, but held. Legion felt a burst of pride. They could do this. “This- I'm asking. I deserve it. Please-” help me was what they meant to say, but Mistress' gentle hand in their hair cut them off.

“It's okay, Leach,” she said. “You don't have to. I'm not going to hurt you, not ever. You're okay.”

That night, Legion purposefully slammed their ankle in the bathroom door for the first time. The pain was brutal and they walked with a limp the next day. But for the first time in many days, Legion felt at peace.

[nosafeharbour]

Encyclopedia Eorzea III: Werlyt thoughts

How is this the second Werlyt thoughts/reactions post I've written in 2023. The Sorrow of Werlyt ended over 2 years ago

This is literally just Werlyt (so also Gaius and Raen) musings, I'll actually finish reading the rest of the book later...

It's beautiful. I've looked at this for 24 hours now

Holy shit, all this Werlyt lore… Gaius was viceroy of Werlyt for TWENTY YEARS?? In-game it sounded like he led the invasion during the epidemic 10 years ago, when you see him adopt the Raen kids, but otherwise wasn’t too deeply involved... but it was under Garlean control since the very start of the Empire? Gaius came into the picture midway through, after it briefly rebelled.

"A young Gaius van Baelsar" capturing Werlyt when he was 30... I guess him being legatus in his thirties makes complete sense with the timeframe of Ala Mhigo, but having it spelled out so plainly… wow

Thinking about the memory of Gaius in the Emerald Weapon trial being a 30 year old is so funny. You jumped-up little shit

It’s hard to pin down dates because everything is measured in years after Werlyt was taken, without it ever giving a starting date, but you can work backwards… the rebellion 30 years post conquering + 20 years of Gaius as viceroy + 5 years before ARR when Gaius begins advance on Eorzea in 1.0 = 55 years ago. The Empire is also 55 years old, which lines up:

Between 55 and 455 years ago: Werlyt is founded (happens after Gyr Abania is unified, but Werlyt is still described as “newly formed” when it was conquered, so definitely closer on the scale to 55)

55 years ago: Werlyt falls under the Empire

25 years ago: While the Empire is stretched thin conquering the Far East, the Werlytians stage a revolt and retake the province. Gaius comes in to quell it, and becomes viceroy after the previous one is killed (Gaius is 31 yrs old) (This is also the year Doma is conquered, so that also lines up)

20 years ago: Ala Mhigo is conquered, Gaius is also made viceroy there

15 years ago: Gaius’s fuckup at the Battle of Silvertear, and when he starts to lose favour in Garlemald

10 years ago: The epidemic, when the Raen kids are orphaned

5 years ago: Gaius leaves for the invasion of Eorzea (1.0), which eventually leaves Valens as viceroy after the events at the Praetorium

Did the epidemic happen under his watch? The flashback of him first reaching out to Allie and Alfonse makes sense to be 10 years ago, but the energy of that scene was very much “arriving to a situation” and not that… it was already under his jurisdiction…

I don’t know how I feel about the change of context here, at least in my understanding of it. It honestly feels a bit of a shock that Werlyt has been under the Empire for 50 years? They never stated any specific years, but I always read it as a decade or so? Long enough for it to become their new lives, short enough that people still remember life before. Gaius coming in to “save” Werlyt from the epidemic by way of conquering it was this mixed bag that ultimately did build towards his character thesis of “good intentions stuck in a bad system”. To think the epidemic technically happened under his watch is new and strange, I dunno. I need to replay it with this in mind to see if it checks out

Especially with that one post-Emerald scene where Gaius is all “Things were shit in MY legion? But I ran a tight ship” lmao… I know a lot of people take the piss out of that scene thinking that he was only discovering racism for the first time in his life (he literally has scenes in ARR about stamping out discrimination in his Legion), but I always read it as his ego meaning he believed that his influence and word over his Legion was immovable, that nobody would behave that way because he told them not to. It complements his view that he always thought he was doing good, but not yet having had the blinders of being a cog in the fascist system removed. These things will always still happen. It would be good to see that scene again, with all this context of the epidemic happening during his time as viceroy... If the times are all correct, I feel like him being stretched thin between Ala Mhigo and Werlyt is a part of this

The “all the good Gaius had achieved” line in regards to him building up Werlyt as viceroy makes me wince, while I do like engaging with Gaius having good intentions, just talking about all the good he did and not the fact it was still a conquered territory + the epidemic? Even I’m balking at that, and I’m a Gaius enjoyer. Slow down here. I’m looking at the artwork of destroyed Werlyt from when he re-conquered it right below this paragraph LOL

The Raen of Werlyt migrating there directly from Corvos, to the point that their religion and food is still Corvosi-inspired... seeing it spelled out so plainly after this incredibly fleeting and brief image from FanFest... wow. I get to feel even more insane over Corvos, now

Really curious about the timeframes, still. If Raen only arrived in Werlyt a little over 50 years ago, in one fell swoop they have turned Albi's Welytian grandmother into a Corvosi grandmother

Werlyt religion being polytheistic, seemingly a fusion of the Twelve and Corvosi religion… I NEED TO KNOW ABOUT CORVOS…

I love the kind of demographics you get from these books:

Werlyt currently undergoing negotiations with Ul’dah for ceruleum, so they can continue mining… Gaius overseeing said negotiations in Ul’dah, Ul’dah is Albi’s turf... Thinking about them in Ul’dah together. It’s actually so fun thinking about Gaius visiting so many Eorzean city states as an envoy. He’s helping, but also he’s keeping his god damn head down (or in a chicken suit)

Werlyt’s main food being stewed dishes is just another thing that lines up with what I imagined, mostly just because it’s what I figured Albi and Gaius would eat a lot (both from cold places, they both know how to cook simple stuff but aren’t master culinarians)

Cheese being a major export to Garlemald, and there being a major cheese presence in Garlemald already (via Ovibos milk, so native to Garlemald itself and not all imported)... cheese lore

There’s way too much dairy talk in here, “dairy enthusiasts” pleeeeasseeee stop making my favourite place like this when I’m lactose intolerent

After The Sorrow of Werlyt says that Terncliff is too high above the ocean to fish, but then Tataru’s Grand Endeavour had orphans collecting seashells, I was so confused on whether or not Werlyt has beaches or not. I’m glad they clarified that there are a few harbours amongst the cliffs.

All of this geography and agriculture lore is neat just in that it’s showing that Werlyt is really quite big. You never really get a full sense of scale in-game, between Terncliff and what we see of the main Werlyt town (?) during Emerald trial/post-Diamond

We have three Werlytian surnames – Hunte, Souther, and Horne!

Severa Souther and Valdeaulin Ganathain… I care them. Severa is only 23, bless her heart. Valdeaulin being 48 is just exactly what I’d assumed/hoped.

The leader of the interim government is Talbot Hunte. Have we seen him..? I’m picturing the Revolutionary Commander in my mind when I read that, but I don't think he was ever named

All of these Werlytian names (surnames, and Hyur first names) have a Germanic feel, while Severa and the Raen kids have Latin-based names. The Raen in Werlyt originate from Corvos, so I am hoping it’s because they are sticking to Corvos being the root of the Latin-based Garlean language, as it should be? Severa had a Garlean parent? Hmm

Bereft at the casual mention of “the bravery of the Baelsars and the Warrior of Light”… THE BAELSARS

Kind of sad they straight-coded Milisandia by giving her a crush on Alfonse. That lizard was one of the gay ones :/

I think Gaius is possibly the first character to get a second Encyclopedia Eorzea entry. I was hoping he would, but had low expectations bc they've never given any other recurring characters new entries... but they did this, for me

“... and though his quest for vengeance would claim the masks of Altima and Deudalaphon, the hunt for Ascians was quickly set aside when he learned of the Empire’s plans to produce the noxious weapon Black Rose” – Black Rose is important and thematic, but seeing the Ascian plot dropped so abruptly even in this book is breaking my heart all over again LMAO

So extremely cool that there are 6 pages just about the Ultima Weapons!! Including the Allagan iterations, the original ARR project, and the second project during Werlyt

I do like the line “According to the testimony of Gaius Baelsar…” in the section about the Ultima Weapon, about how Lahabrea guided them to it. Gaius sat and gave testimony to the Alliance about a lot of things, huh!

I also like the confirmation that Proto-Ultima is the last iteration the Allagans made, and that all the visuals of the Ultima Weapon are magitek and Garlean-made. It’s hard to tell, since the earlier Ultima Warrior has them too, but the fact that Ultima Weapon’s horns look like Gaius’s helmet means it was done on purpose… kinda moe. Nero trying to impress his legatus

Interesting that the Heart of Sabik is mentioned so clearly, and that Valens knew he couldn’t recreate it… but still acquired a piece of Ivalician auracite to base the Oversoul system on. Reading this all post-Pandaemonium is enlightening

Seems that the “third eye” looking chestpiece on the cuirass of legatus armour is the synthetic auracite they used for the same purpose as soul crystals! Having a visual on that is neat

Another extremely obvious hint that Nero made the second (red) G-Savior, which only makes Gaius not finding out he was still alive until Tataru’s Grand Endeavour so funny/weird. Nero literally must have been in Werlyt!! The Ironworks were talking about him constantly! Gaius, are you stupid! (yeah)